Blog WITH T

Sh*t has been a bit hard this month, if we’re keeping it completely transparent. I’m mostly angry this month, at myself! Angry because I want so much better for myself. I know the value of my worth but ultimately I haven’t charged the right price. Instead I give all of me, for free. I’ve been through some sh*t and unfortunately still pushing through more sh*t. During my reflecting moments, I can see where I am to blame. Accepting too many things that I knew weren’t aligned for my life. That comfort zone is a dangerous place! Too often I’ve seen the best in others so when I’m presented otherwise I am usually the one left to pick up the pieces. Actions were clear as day but I’ve trusted too many words instead. So…. I mean this deep in my soul… girlllllaaa WTF is wrong with you?! (me to me) YOU are the ONE, don’t let nobody try to take that from you!!! UGH! The same question I’ve been asking myself for quite sometime now. After everything I’ve been through I still know its all gonna be worth it. I won’t allow the situations or circumstances of my past to dictate my future happiness. I just want to be alive long enough to truly experience that, to really feel that sh*t, to really allow myself to fall without getting any more damn bruises! You know what I mean…?! to fall into true never ending love, receive unquestionable loyalty, honesty, vulnerability, understanding, and compassion. For our families not to turn foe or friends not becoming enemies. I wanna let go of all my fears, finally. Do we ever truly get that opportunity as humans before we leave our mark here on earth?! Like really get it?! Or do we just always pretend, imagine, hope, pray or wish we do?!

Lately a few close people have disappointed me. I feel like I’m experiencing so much at once. Clearly, I’m being tested! I don’t feel like I’ve come up for air in a long ass time. Temporary joy, yes of course...but something always comes up testing me once again. So guess how I cope?!! I’ll just throw a cute bandaid on that sh*t so the boo-boo will stop hurting for the moment but ultimately that scar will be there forever! Because without getting deep + putting your shadow work in to truly begin to heal, you won’t. If I can be honest, it just feels like… in comparison to the things we continuously have to push through; these short lived joys literally come + go sooooo fast.

But then on the other hand… these unexpected blessings that have been dropping in on me randomly; I couldn’t be more THANKFUL! Just when I’m ready to scream (whew), those blessings say holddd up I got you!

Is it weird to say that I’m thankful asf that I’m pushing through some sh*t right now?!

Let me explain….

Thankful because some positive sh*t came out of these unfortunate situations. I’m truly learning to put more trust into myself. Our intuition; we all have as women is one of the most beautiful gifts we could’ve received. Typically, I doubt my intuition and create excuses to make myself feel like my decisions were right (after not following my damn intuition) Now I see where I played a part in allowing people to think it was okay to treat me like the yellow starburst when fah’ sho’ I’m a pink one! LOL!

But seriously, I’ve had time to step away and give myself the self care I needed this month. Jumped on the road solo (I love road-trips) + treated myself by purchasing a gorgeous camera I’ve been wanting + went to a photography class in Philadelphia that I invested in and booked myself a hotel for the night. Had some amazing brunch the next morning (I don’t play about my food). All the vibes I needed! But damn! It’s never enough self care time whew’!

Things to remember: at the end of the day, it’s always YOU! You always have your back + you always push through what you’re going through + you work hard day and night… so babygirl you gotta keep doing this sh*t for YOU!

Partners may come and go + friends may stab you in your back + family may hurt you. But through it ALL you still have YOU!  Let’s Connect!.

I want to thank you for following the vibes that lead you to my blog! Make sure you sign up below for more stuff to come!  More Vibes!!.